Beauty from Ashes

Hello ladiesssss!

I wanted to share something that God has reminded me recently. For me, when there is an intense amount of catching up to do for a midterm or papers, I tend to put my whole life on hold. I realize that I need to make up for all the procrastinated and wasted time on my part by cramming the next ___ days. In those ___ days, I must live as a hermit, sacrifice my happiness, social life in order to be a good steward of my studies and try to pull this thing together. 

And God showed me how wrong I was. He reminded me that the world still goes on while I am in my hermit mode. He reminded me that while I shift my mentality to just meeting my own needs, people around me are still hurting, people around me still need a friend- and as much as Cal students understand academic exile, God doesn’t. God never gave us an excuse for us be snap at people, be impatient, think only about ourselves, etc. It’s easy to think of how “good” we are when we remember the good things we’ve done. But honestly, the good things we do tend to be when it is convenient for us. I think a lot can be said about how we act when it’s hard to be nice. (cliche, but true)

So for me, this was a reminder to be a good steward of my studies CONSISTENTLY- not just during crunch time. As much as the culture around us is telling us that academics should be our #1 priority, I need to remember that God first called us to be HIS DAUGHTERS. I want to seek God and love Him and love His people, while still finding a way to be a good steward of my studies. Everyone definitely works differently, so I think it’s crucial for me to go to him for discernment in what I need to spend time on, also remembering that it is never through any of my own power that I accomplish anything. 

On another note, I wanted to encourage everyone to pursue deeper relationships with the others in our small group! Obviously, it’s super comfortable to just hang out with the people we always hang out with. But honestly, this is such an awesome opportunity for us to mix it up a bit! Talk to people we don’t know that much about! I can definitely say that personally, I would LOVEEE to get to know some of the older women in our small group ;) Even if it is just grabbing a meal together, taking a walk, walking to class together, or COMING TO THE SLEEPOVER THIS FRIDAY :DDDDDD I pray for more unification and deeper bonding in our small group!

I hope that God is reigning in all of our lives!! 

<3, Eun Sun 

— inspired by lunch with Joanne <3

The other day, I read this really nerdy science-y article about rats.

I know, please contain your excitement.

Basically it was about how rats (even if genetically pre-disposed to be more social than the typical presumably emo? rat) if reared in an environment where they don’t receive a lot of licks or other physical forms of rodenty affection, turn out to be really anxious and nervous when they reach adulthood. Yeah, it was definitely a great Friday night.

I know how cliqued the idea sounds. Something like the punchline to a joke about famous dicators not getting enough manly daddy hugs or lipsticky mama kisses as a kid. But if you think about it, touch is a powerful thing. And albeit, we’re not rats but I think the notion stays true.

One brush of someone’s shoulder and it’s a thousand nerves on fire, shooting up into your brain and lighting up your neurons like a Disneyland fireworks display. And the guy probably wasn’t even that cute.

I guess it was on my mind recently because I’ve been thinking about the way that God “spoke” to me when I was younger.

My auditory sense, I’m convinced, must have been replaced by enhanced eating abilities because I can’t recall one time when I could clearly state “That is from God, fosho” nor a time when I wasn’t packing food in my mouth for the winter.

But He must have been there.

I thought about all those times when my mom used to touch my cheek or hold my hand, and I can’t recall one moment when I could clearly say “ Yes. 12 Oct 1995. 13:00 hours. Mother took her thumb and index finger to pinch my face in a display of maternal affection. Duration: 0.53 seconds.”

But I know she must have done it a lot; they were pretty big cheeks, how could she resist.

And man, think about God’s holy touch. A whole lifetime steeped in divine hugs and kisses, unnoticed but ever-present. Intangible but lightning, souls aflamed.  Even now, the impresses of his holy workings residing within us. Holy Holy Holy.

In Mark 5: 25-34 a woman went up to Jesus and touched his garments to bring an end to her pain.

Just one touch. And she was healed.

—-Kathy

I’ve come to realize how little I pour out to people around me. More and more, I see the selfishness inside of me, the laziness inside of me, the ugliness inside of me.

My brothers and sisters in Christ pour out so much to me, but I find myself almost like taking it for granted. I’m so thankful for everything they’ve done for me: comforting me, cooking for me, listening to me, etc, but I always put off giving back and pouring out to them to a later time because of my laziness. I feel so horrible about this.

This slothfulness and laziness is really bringing down every aspect of my life. I feel like it’s affecting my relationships, my studies, and myself as a whole and as an individual. Self-discipline is really the answer and I really need to try hard to receive this from God.

Everyone expects to be poured back into when one pours out, if not, one won’t be able to function because, well, there would be nothing to pour out anymore and s/he’ll eventually shut down. I don’t want this to happen to anyone around me. (edit—But then again, I guess they would be getting poured into from God..) I want to pour back into the people that cared for me during my struggles and be one of the supporters in their time of need.

I’m sorry if any of you reading this post might have been hurt or been disappointed with my selfishness and lack of pouring back in. I’ll try my best to discipline myself and rebuild the relationships that I once had.

-Diane

Hi! :)
so, like i promised during small group, i tried to enable the comment feature, but i realized that it is already enabled! However, (i’m not 100% sure!) i think only people that are following this blog can comment…

Anyhow, whenever we talk about having intentional conversations or even just talking to our non christian friends, the same friend always comes to mind (the one i’ve been bringing to church)! and so even today when we were talking about the conversation partner, i immediately thought of her.. but omg im definitely scared! i’ve known her since 1ST GRADE! and shes seen all the good & BAD sides of meeeee … i dono. and honestly, there was a like a break in our friendship during elementary school because I was seriously like a … TERRIBLE PERSON. like I was the type of girl along with her friends who ostracize someone and write bad things about them in our “friendship books” (oh, how i hope she does not read this… she has a tumblrrr o_o) [omg sorry, those are my shameful days ahaha, so evil -___-] but yeah! but throughout jr high & highschool, i became pretty close with her because both our lives were pretty much ORCHESTRA. i would see her at school, orchestra rehearsal, and we lived in the same neighborhood so we carpooled everywhere! so like, our friendship has been pretty LONG, duration wise, and we always talk about ANYTHING and always have something random to talk about. but i never talked to her about spiritual stuff… she knows i go to church and im Christian and etc. so yeah, i feel like right now, im on one side of our friendship which is really comfortable and familiar… and im scared to cross that line not knowing where this friendship will go and going into a totally UNCOMFORTABLE place probably for the both of us… o_o

im kinda nervous that she’ll comes across this  o_o i may delete later!

Hope everyone has a wonderful SPRING BREAK! I AM DEFINITELY SO EXCITED TO GO HOMEEEEEEEE!! <3

-aliceeeeeek :)

This Thursday, I felt so blessed by our small group.  To be honest with you guys (I mean girls haha), I was feeling pretty nervous about this Thursday.  After thinking for a long time, I decided not to bring my friend with me because I wasn’t so sure how comfortable she would feel as a non-Christian when we were talking about evangelism.  And yet things happened and she came.  

If there was one thing I learned from this week’s lesson was that once again God is in control.  Whenever someone talked about evangelism, I often felt burdened.  How am I going to tell them?  What if I make a mistake?  And the list goes on…Yet evangelism is God’s mission, not mine.  Even Marissa being there at our small group was all in God’s plan.  Once I realized it, thanks to Rachel’s prayer, I felt so much at peace. 

I really didn’t know how she would react to our Bible study.  When she asked the question, “How do you encounter God?” I felt like there was the longest pause.  You know those moments when you feel like someone pressed “stop” button and everything seems to freeze?  That’s what it felt like.  But I was so thankful that you all were there to help her understand even a little bit of how it is to encounter God. 

At the end of our small group, I asked her how she felt about the small group.  She really liked you all and then she was wondering if her school had fellowship like this.  Even if she may be still set on her belief about Christianity, I know she definitely saw something good and different about our small group.  And I just wanted to say thank you all for being who you are.  Thank you for welcoming her.  And thank you for the little surprise and the lovely card.  I was really surprised and in the beginning I thought it was someone else’s birthday that I totally forgot about…so I was singing along with you guys in the beginning haha. 

I love you girls :)

-Jenny

*i feel weird posting 2 times in a row… oh well! hopefully this will encourage others to post more!! :)

Idea: SLEEPOVER!!

I know that initially, it may sound a bit immature or childish… or you love the idea :D but I think it’d be a great way for us girls to bond, especially something only OUR sg can do teehee We could all eat dinner together, then if the group is too big, maybe we can split up and stay at different places (this is hoping that upperclassmen would open up their apartments?? (x ). We can spend the night sharing testimonies, life stories, funny stories, sad stories, boy stories, hair stories, parent stories… We can talk talk talk, have a pillow fight, whatevers! 

Thought it’d be a cool way for our SG to get to know each other better. Just throwin it out there :D

- Eun Sun 

Joy unspeakable that won’t go away
And just enough strength 
To live for today
So I never have to worry 
What tomorrow will bring
‘Cause my faith is on solid rock
I am counting on God

- “Counting on God” The Desperation Band 

After very few hours of sleep, a few days of nervousness, God got me through today’s midterm and other assignments that were due with this song :)

WOOHOO i love that with God as our Father, everyday we are renewed, everyday we have infinite hope, everyday we have infinite joy. :D YESSSSSSSSSS

See ya’ll soon!!!

- Cho

ps191 paper? done.

peis reading response x 4? done.

catching up on 3 weeks’ worth of readings for 3 classes? done.

ps124c quiz? done.

office hours (for the first time in all my years of college)? done x 2.

justicecorps application? DONE YEAH YEAH.

ps124c research proposal? not done. but will be tomallow.

JESUS I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU PULLED ME THROUGH ALL THIS IN LESS THAN A WEEK YOU’RE KINDA COOL LIKE THAT. :)

- Joanne Kim

i’m finally done with midterms!!! woo hoo! :D

i was supposed to be done last Thursday, but my poetic anthro professor didn’t make enough copies, so some of us got take-home midterm essays. there were pros and cons… pro-i have more time to get this done. con-i hate writing essays and didn’t start until the morning of the due date.

haha. yap. i didn’t start until the morning of the due date. :) …. -_-;;

so of course, i didn’t have enough time to finish it, and by the time i was done with the first page (3-4 page single spaced), it was time to go to work. CRAP.

before this time, i was frantically trying to find someone to cover for me, which turned out to be a major FAIL. so I went in and did my sweeps, and as my coworker recommended, i asked my new boss if i could take the rest of my shift off cuz i have an essay due in an hour. (ya, it was a bold move.. but supposedly, my coworkers did the same thing few times before when they were at the edge. and instead of Karen—to all the freshmen out there taking Chem 1A, yes, the Chem Demo Karen was my boss just few days ago :) —Kyle, a student who I’ve worked with at the stockroom before, graduated, got a job, but came back to become my new boss so that Karen can work full-time with Demos. Kyle is super nice, and WOOHOO!! to my joy, he said yes, i can take the rest of the time off and can make up the missed time later! yaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy

i was practically running out of the stockroom yelling “thank youuuuuuuuuuu” and went straight to the Chem library to finish up my essay midterm, and Thanks to Daddy who made it all happen, turned it in safe and sound. WHEW!

now, the problem is… i don’t know where my Chem 3B notebook—my most important notebook of the semester—is. hopefully not some really competitive pre-med person found it and destroyed it….. -_-;

okie, that was my day. :)

-Diane/heejong