I’ve come to realize how little I pour out to people around me. More and more, I see the selfishness inside of me, the laziness inside of me, the ugliness inside of me.
My brothers and sisters in Christ pour out so much to me, but I find myself almost like taking it for granted. I’m so thankful for everything they’ve done for me: comforting me, cooking for me, listening to me, etc, but I always put off giving back and pouring out to them to a later time because of my laziness. I feel so horrible about this.
This slothfulness and laziness is really bringing down every aspect of my life. I feel like it’s affecting my relationships, my studies, and myself as a whole and as an individual. Self-discipline is really the answer and I really need to try hard to receive this from God.
Everyone expects to be poured back into when one pours out, if not, one won’t be able to function because, well, there would be nothing to pour out anymore and s/he’ll eventually shut down. I don’t want this to happen to anyone around me. (edit—But then again, I guess they would be getting poured into from God..) I want to pour back into the people that cared for me during my struggles and be one of the supporters in their time of need.
I’m sorry if any of you reading this post might have been hurt or been disappointed with my selfishness and lack of pouring back in. I’ll try my best to discipline myself and rebuild the relationships that I once had.
-Diane
